It would appear that my college has become the locus of every pre-millenialist’s nightmare. They could film a Left Behind film here with all the strange things that have been happening. Basically, we’ve been utterly hammered by what appear for all practical purposes to be plagues.
It all started with a case of the Mumps. Rumor has it that their was a fondue party in one of the dorms, and as luck would have it, one of the participants had the Mumps. Yes… the Mumps. That mythical disease that the MMR shot we all get before kindergarten is supposed to stop. That virus that sounds like it should come from a Dr. Seuss book [Mumps with lumps on frumpy teenage hephalumps go bump in the dark] or perhaps should be evidenced by some kind of painful hives [I don’t know… like boils perhaps?] Yep, that disease has now infected 82 students here on campus!
Then, a week ago Tuesday, we had the flood of the century. An article in our school newspaper quite aptly said it almost turned us into “the Atlantis of evangelical Christian schools.” Several cars were totaled, the BGC parking lot was four feet deep in water [that’s enough to swim in! which a lot of people did.], an entire floor was evacuated and still hasn’t been made suitable for the guys to come back yet.
Yesterday morning, it snowed! It snowed on October 12th! When has it ever snowed on October 12?!!!! But it sure did yesterday morning in broad daylight. [Kinda reminded me of another miracle. Gee… perhaps the hail with fire. O.k. so maybe it’s a stretch, but gimme a break, I’m trying to build my case here!]
On top of all this, the electrical system has been on the fritz for the last few days. Coming on for five minutes only to go back off again. Soon we’re gonna be immersed in utter darkness for several days like the plague!
When talking with one of my friends about this whole thing, I discovered that someone on campus actually has the CPO box # 666 and she’s a transfer no less! I’ll just leave you to make the inferences.
So basically, Wheaton College is Armageddon. Forget all you heard about that battlefield in Israel, it’s gonna happen right here, and soon! Be Afraid! Be very Afraid! Where is Kirk Cameron when you need him!!! Wait… Sam? Don’t you know Kirk personally? Maybe you could send him our way for a couple weeks, huh?
Then again… maybe it’s just global warming. 😉